Hi Guys, I went out and snorkeled on the Great Barrier Reef today. It was so magical. The fish are so beautiful, colourful and the coral, was awesome. You guys are going to have to come up and visit so we can show you what you are missing. At the moment it is so hot, humid and uncomfortable, but then we have days like today and all the daily stresses are left ashore. Anyway, I will post some photos when I get them and entice you to all come and see. For the last 10days I have had my uncle John and Cousin Jordan staying here and we have had a great time catching up on the last few years. He is now 15 and changed so much, he is taller than me now....which isn't hard to do, and he has dreadlocks. Wow he has grown. It only seems like yesterday that I was helping change his nappy... I feel old!!!
Last week was tough. I had 2 lots of surgery done at the same time. One was Gynaecological and the other was to remove two molars. what was supposed to be a thirty minute op, turned into a 4 hour one. Any way. I have been in truck loads of pain and discomfort since. But on the flip side I have lost a bit of weight in the mean time.
Christmas is coming along like a freight train. I have made heaps of pressies for family and friends and managed to do this all while recovering from the op. So if some things get sent askew blame it on the anesthetics.
Tonight Justin and I came across a theory... We are not fat, just full of flavour!!! So on that note. See ya till next time..
Tasty Shell and Juicy Justin
May your Christmas be happy,
May all your bells jingle,
May you not get your tinsel in a tangle.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Merry New Age Christmas
Merry Christmas to All.
We hope everyone is having a lovely Christmas and are filled with hope, happiness and good health. Don’t over do things or you’ll end up looking like Santa, I know this, because it happened to me!!! I personally don’t know how he keeps so damn jolly, I admire this man and all his helpers, imagine his budgets, and we think we have it tough… Little do some know!!!
I’m making my Christmas cards this year, whether or not they get sent is another thing. So keep your fingers crossed. But for now, just in case, here is a beautiful virtual card, enjoy it might just be the best you get. Click on the link below and then click on the parts of the card as you are told to. It is magical.
Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year. Enjoy!!!!
Michelle, Justin, Drew and Brayden Van Dyk
http://www.ecard.ashland.edu/2004admission/index.html
We hope everyone is having a lovely Christmas and are filled with hope, happiness and good health. Don’t over do things or you’ll end up looking like Santa, I know this, because it happened to me!!! I personally don’t know how he keeps so damn jolly, I admire this man and all his helpers, imagine his budgets, and we think we have it tough… Little do some know!!!
I’m making my Christmas cards this year, whether or not they get sent is another thing. So keep your fingers crossed. But for now, just in case, here is a beautiful virtual card, enjoy it might just be the best you get. Click on the link below and then click on the parts of the card as you are told to. It is magical.
Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year. Enjoy!!!!
Michelle, Justin, Drew and Brayden Van Dyk
http://www.ecard.ashland.edu/2004admission/index.html
Bikes
For those of you who don’t know that Justin has a Moped/Nifty50. Well he does and he has carried the whole family on it at one time, and then bought the two boys and their little 50cc Motorbike up the beach when it has conked out. I thought I had seen it all and then I received these pictures… the rest is up to your imagination.
PS. I have attached a picture of Justin on his nifty 50 scooter, and since this photo, Justin has bought himself a beautiful bike that he is currently doing it up.
PS. I have attached a picture of Justin on his nifty 50 scooter, and since this photo, Justin has bought himself a beautiful bike that he is currently doing it up.
I will post one of Justin's Bike when I get one.
An insight into what a Cyclone season means to me.
At the moment we are getting heaps and heaps of rain. Cyclone Gouba is causing havoc. Just so you can get a feel for where Wonga Beach is, we are about 150km south of Cook Town. Since cyclone Larry, and the Tsunami, we are really aware of how quickly things can happen. Early this year we had 20mins to pack anything important and drive as far and as high as we could to escape the tsunami due to hit at 8am. Mum woke us at 7am and emergency crews were evacuating everybody. We just packed our dirty washing and half the pantry and jumped in the car. It was an extremely scarry moment, even the most precious possessions were left. We let the dogs out into the yard and cried, at that point we didn’t know if we would ever see them again. Since then, Justin and I defiantly wouldn’t leave the dogs behind again. We drove up into the tablelands, a town called Mareeba, it was so surreal at the time but now just thinking about it brings goosebumps and eyes watering.
Blah Blah.... If you are still reading now, you know how crazy I am.
Blah Blah.... If you are still reading now, you know how crazy I am.
My answer to a Question asked by a Autism Specturm Disorder Mum
A Mum is asking for advice, please respond with what has worked for your ASD child. There are lots of books and info. out there, but sometimes the best info. comes from other parents who has experienced same or similar with their own ASD child and knows what works. However, any advice and ideas from professionals and parents alike will be appreciated. Thanks.
She writes:
"Any advice re bullying at school? My son is 8 years old and has been being excluded and called names, kicked and imitated cruelly. He wants to play soccer with boys at lunchtime who say he is the 'suckiest' year 3 and is no good at soccer. We have approached the school and the teachers have had 'circle time' re bullying, and increased surveillance in the schoolground. We are trying to support his self confidence and develop friendships out of school. At present there are no clubs eg chess at school for him to join; but he wants to practice soccer if he can to improve so keeps trying to join those boys despite suggestions to do otherwise. I would be grateful for any suggestions".
My answer is...........
Hi, my name is Michelle Van Dyk, I live at Wonga Beach in the Daintree and have an 8yr old boy with ASD. We have found similar problems, for about 2 years we traveled 20km to Wonga Beach State School at the beginning and end of each school day. This was for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the house that we were put into was further away from the school he was attending. A school which we love and wanted to persevere with until we were able to find a house closer to the school. Living further away, meant that he didn’t build friendships out of school hours and kids in the area didn’t really want to know Drew as they were older and could see he was different. And the kids that he did see at school had their own special friends, with bonds and more things in common and out of school friendship circle. Then, when we moved closer to his school, across the road in fact. The kids wanted to come over, mostly to play with different toys that they may not have at home. But in doing this they were able to see past the different little boy in their class. Then to go hand in hand with this, we as parents tried extra hard to make friendship circles with their parent or parents. This wasn’t easy as I have Chronic Pancreatitis and live each day with Chronic Pain and become to complicated for a lot of people, who get sick and tired of me being sick. I suppose this helps me see things from my sons view. Also I try to help out at the school as much as I can and build relationships with the kids and build a bit of respect there. As the kids are getting older they see more things about Drew that are different, this can be hard and I tend to try and smooth things over, which can be a bit funny at times. One of these instances was when Drew said he didn’t like the friend that was playing over and wanted to go next door and play with someone else. I tried to say to Drew that it wasn’t nice and that he didn’t mean it. And to that Drew said, “Mum, I told you that I didn’t like him, he smells! I like (the boy) next door better” ….. Well the ground could have opened up and swallowed me. I always try to get that child back to play again to hopefully show him that Drew can be nice!
I garble a lot!. Other things that we have tried… Gymnastics, this was hard as Drew is so competitive and everything has to be equal. We gave this a year and a half, before the teacher and ourselves agreed that it might not suit Drew, and a more one on one approach would have been the only option. Then, came the swimming lessons. Drew found this hard, he always needs to know what is happening next! And demanded the swimming teachers attention. The last thing we tried which we feel is pretty successful, is, Karate. The teachings are disciplined and straight forward. There is mostly one way to do things and no grey areas. He is at his best away and not near his close friends and best, right in front of the instructor. I tried to tell the instructor about his ASD, and he didn’t want to know. I am still trying to work out if this is a good thing or not. Drew’s friendship with the kids from is school that go, is really good.
But the point to the whole email… Drew tried to do the ALF Aus Kick program. Similar to Soccer scenario, Drew was picked on and deliberately left out of the loop on extra practice or games and he found out and really got upset. Yeah, we thought he would get over it, but it effected his confidence. If I was to let him do this again. I would try to ask for an aide, voluntary if needed, to try and be there to look out for him in these circumstances. Because this is a lunch time thing, maybe get an older kid on side (organized with a teacher) to try and encourage positively and make the other kids see the hidden talent and to point out the good things he does to the others and win them over. Or maybe another idea, could you or your hubby try to organize a game in the park on the week end, invite a couple of the popular understanding big kids to help with teaching a few pointers and get some of the meanies thinking, if they are there, that’s cool!
I don’t know if this has been of any help, I do sympathies with you. Drew is going through a anger stage and has become disruptive in the class and has lost respect with his teacher. Yeah, life is always different and new. My saying is “ life is never going to be smooth sailing. Just a rollercoaster ride, never can predict the next turn, full of ups and downs, twists and curls, fun and scary all at the same time. But you always get back on for the ride”
Thankyou and good luck, I’ll be cheering for him.
Michelle Van Dyk
She writes:
"Any advice re bullying at school? My son is 8 years old and has been being excluded and called names, kicked and imitated cruelly. He wants to play soccer with boys at lunchtime who say he is the 'suckiest' year 3 and is no good at soccer. We have approached the school and the teachers have had 'circle time' re bullying, and increased surveillance in the schoolground. We are trying to support his self confidence and develop friendships out of school. At present there are no clubs eg chess at school for him to join; but he wants to practice soccer if he can to improve so keeps trying to join those boys despite suggestions to do otherwise. I would be grateful for any suggestions".
My answer is...........
Hi, my name is Michelle Van Dyk, I live at Wonga Beach in the Daintree and have an 8yr old boy with ASD. We have found similar problems, for about 2 years we traveled 20km to Wonga Beach State School at the beginning and end of each school day. This was for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the house that we were put into was further away from the school he was attending. A school which we love and wanted to persevere with until we were able to find a house closer to the school. Living further away, meant that he didn’t build friendships out of school hours and kids in the area didn’t really want to know Drew as they were older and could see he was different. And the kids that he did see at school had their own special friends, with bonds and more things in common and out of school friendship circle. Then, when we moved closer to his school, across the road in fact. The kids wanted to come over, mostly to play with different toys that they may not have at home. But in doing this they were able to see past the different little boy in their class. Then to go hand in hand with this, we as parents tried extra hard to make friendship circles with their parent or parents. This wasn’t easy as I have Chronic Pancreatitis and live each day with Chronic Pain and become to complicated for a lot of people, who get sick and tired of me being sick. I suppose this helps me see things from my sons view. Also I try to help out at the school as much as I can and build relationships with the kids and build a bit of respect there. As the kids are getting older they see more things about Drew that are different, this can be hard and I tend to try and smooth things over, which can be a bit funny at times. One of these instances was when Drew said he didn’t like the friend that was playing over and wanted to go next door and play with someone else. I tried to say to Drew that it wasn’t nice and that he didn’t mean it. And to that Drew said, “Mum, I told you that I didn’t like him, he smells! I like (the boy) next door better” ….. Well the ground could have opened up and swallowed me. I always try to get that child back to play again to hopefully show him that Drew can be nice!
I garble a lot!. Other things that we have tried… Gymnastics, this was hard as Drew is so competitive and everything has to be equal. We gave this a year and a half, before the teacher and ourselves agreed that it might not suit Drew, and a more one on one approach would have been the only option. Then, came the swimming lessons. Drew found this hard, he always needs to know what is happening next! And demanded the swimming teachers attention. The last thing we tried which we feel is pretty successful, is, Karate. The teachings are disciplined and straight forward. There is mostly one way to do things and no grey areas. He is at his best away and not near his close friends and best, right in front of the instructor. I tried to tell the instructor about his ASD, and he didn’t want to know. I am still trying to work out if this is a good thing or not. Drew’s friendship with the kids from is school that go, is really good.
But the point to the whole email… Drew tried to do the ALF Aus Kick program. Similar to Soccer scenario, Drew was picked on and deliberately left out of the loop on extra practice or games and he found out and really got upset. Yeah, we thought he would get over it, but it effected his confidence. If I was to let him do this again. I would try to ask for an aide, voluntary if needed, to try and be there to look out for him in these circumstances. Because this is a lunch time thing, maybe get an older kid on side (organized with a teacher) to try and encourage positively and make the other kids see the hidden talent and to point out the good things he does to the others and win them over. Or maybe another idea, could you or your hubby try to organize a game in the park on the week end, invite a couple of the popular understanding big kids to help with teaching a few pointers and get some of the meanies thinking, if they are there, that’s cool!
I don’t know if this has been of any help, I do sympathies with you. Drew is going through a anger stage and has become disruptive in the class and has lost respect with his teacher. Yeah, life is always different and new. My saying is “ life is never going to be smooth sailing. Just a rollercoaster ride, never can predict the next turn, full of ups and downs, twists and curls, fun and scary all at the same time. But you always get back on for the ride”
Thankyou and good luck, I’ll be cheering for him.
Michelle Van Dyk
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friendship
I’m not into the chain mail type emails, the ones you are requested to read and send on to true friends. True friends don’t need to be told what they are, they just need respect and for you to be there along the way for them when you need it. I know I have true friends spread all around me, near and far, and I know that I will always treat them as I would expect to be treated myself. Love, loyal, trust and admiration don’t come at a huge cost or impact to ourselves, it’s free, it doesn’t hurt, well, it shouldn’t hurt if it is a friend. Most of my friends I don’t keep in constant contact, but when I do speak to them, it is or should be as if no time has past. Respect people for who they are and it will come back to you.
Here in a couple of sentences are morals or ethics that should be a natural common sense attitude. Do unto others are you would expect to do unto you.
Just this week, I had a very close family friend pass away unexpected, Although I hadn’t spoken to him in a very long time, he was still as close a friend as he was when we saw him on a daily basis. Dad went down to Brisbane for his funeral on our behalf, I sent a letter with dad to give to the family, to let them know how much of an impact he made on our lives, I wanted to celebrate the good times, so below is a copy of what I sent to the family. If you have access to my blog, then, you are a friend and I would like to share with you, Albert…
Back to the point of me writing this blog. I had just received this email, that was in a chain mail form, but, The Moral of the story really touched me. So below I have edited the email to get out to you the meaning…
We all know or knew someone like this!!
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks." They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! " He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. " Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile."Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
"There is no beginning or end..
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
So, STOP Reading this!!! Go out and make an impact on someone or something...GO!!!
Here in a couple of sentences are morals or ethics that should be a natural common sense attitude. Do unto others are you would expect to do unto you.
Just this week, I had a very close family friend pass away unexpected, Although I hadn’t spoken to him in a very long time, he was still as close a friend as he was when we saw him on a daily basis. Dad went down to Brisbane for his funeral on our behalf, I sent a letter with dad to give to the family, to let them know how much of an impact he made on our lives, I wanted to celebrate the good times, so below is a copy of what I sent to the family. If you have access to my blog, then, you are a friend and I would like to share with you, Albert…
Uncle Albert
Albert, Uncle Albert, was a pillar in our lives for so many years. He was just that, an Uncle, he watched out for our family since I was about five. One of the things that come to mind is when we would all go to the boat club we belonged to on South Stradbroke, we would all sit reminiscing around the fire and playing cards, just having fun together. While we were there once, Albert needed his radio from his boat, as the boat was out a little, Albert came down to help, so, I passed the radio to him then dived into the water for a swim, Albert thought that I was falling, droped the radio in the water to try and catch me, in the end we were all wet, radio and all. Can you believe, a bit of RP7 and it was still working for many years after. Another time, was when I changed schools, the day I was to catch the bus for the first time, there was Albert, he had just bought the bus run that I was to catch. Then in High School, there were days when there was a chance of flooding, Albert would come to the school in the mini bus and take us home early, at times Albert would have, Louise, Rebecca or myself, out in front of the bus to check the depth of the water. In 1989 when we sold our house to the water board, we had to move up to Tamborine Mountain while we waited for mum to sell her hair salon. For me to get to high school, I had to get a bus at 5.30am to get me to Tambourine Village, then wait an hour to catch the school bus to travel another hour to school, the week before I had to catch the mountain bus, Albert took over that run.
These are only a couple of stories of our lives with Albert and Laura, but what I’m trying to convey here, is how much of a huge part Albert played in our lives. He was a gentle giant who came across a monster at times (on the buses), but he was a huge softy that couldn’t do enough for others. Life has been very bumpy at times with tragedies, highs and lows, life isn’t all good, but what I do know is that having Albert in our lives, life has been so much the richer.
When we moved to Adelaide, there was distance between our families and lives became hectic, but we always knew that Albert and yourself were always there if we needed you. Times when we did catch up, it was as if no time had passed, and I am only sad that you aren’t here anymore and we will miss you very much. You don’t always know what you are missing until it is gone. Albert always made Mum, Dad, Darren and myself feel special, important, that we were good people. So many times over the years mum and dad had to turn to Albert and yourself for advice and you both were always straight and we all knew he would tell it how it was.
So, to Laura and the family, just know that he was a hero to us all and we will miss him very much. Celebrate the good times, I know that is how he would have liked it.
All our hopes, dreams and wishes are with you
Michelle Van Dyk (Hargrave), John, Kathy and Darren and Families
Ps. I send this down with Dad, we all wish we could be there for you, to Celebrate all of Alberts achievements.
Albert, Uncle Albert, was a pillar in our lives for so many years. He was just that, an Uncle, he watched out for our family since I was about five. One of the things that come to mind is when we would all go to the boat club we belonged to on South Stradbroke, we would all sit reminiscing around the fire and playing cards, just having fun together. While we were there once, Albert needed his radio from his boat, as the boat was out a little, Albert came down to help, so, I passed the radio to him then dived into the water for a swim, Albert thought that I was falling, droped the radio in the water to try and catch me, in the end we were all wet, radio and all. Can you believe, a bit of RP7 and it was still working for many years after. Another time, was when I changed schools, the day I was to catch the bus for the first time, there was Albert, he had just bought the bus run that I was to catch. Then in High School, there were days when there was a chance of flooding, Albert would come to the school in the mini bus and take us home early, at times Albert would have, Louise, Rebecca or myself, out in front of the bus to check the depth of the water. In 1989 when we sold our house to the water board, we had to move up to Tamborine Mountain while we waited for mum to sell her hair salon. For me to get to high school, I had to get a bus at 5.30am to get me to Tambourine Village, then wait an hour to catch the school bus to travel another hour to school, the week before I had to catch the mountain bus, Albert took over that run.
These are only a couple of stories of our lives with Albert and Laura, but what I’m trying to convey here, is how much of a huge part Albert played in our lives. He was a gentle giant who came across a monster at times (on the buses), but he was a huge softy that couldn’t do enough for others. Life has been very bumpy at times with tragedies, highs and lows, life isn’t all good, but what I do know is that having Albert in our lives, life has been so much the richer.
When we moved to Adelaide, there was distance between our families and lives became hectic, but we always knew that Albert and yourself were always there if we needed you. Times when we did catch up, it was as if no time had passed, and I am only sad that you aren’t here anymore and we will miss you very much. You don’t always know what you are missing until it is gone. Albert always made Mum, Dad, Darren and myself feel special, important, that we were good people. So many times over the years mum and dad had to turn to Albert and yourself for advice and you both were always straight and we all knew he would tell it how it was.
So, to Laura and the family, just know that he was a hero to us all and we will miss him very much. Celebrate the good times, I know that is how he would have liked it.
All our hopes, dreams and wishes are with you
Michelle Van Dyk (Hargrave), John, Kathy and Darren and Families
Ps. I send this down with Dad, we all wish we could be there for you, to Celebrate all of Alberts achievements.
Back to the point of me writing this blog. I had just received this email, that was in a chain mail form, but, The Moral of the story really touched me. So below I have edited the email to get out to you the meaning…
We all know or knew someone like this!!
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks." They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! " He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. " Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile."Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
"There is no beginning or end..
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
So, STOP Reading this!!! Go out and make an impact on someone or something...GO!!!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Update on how we are travelling
Wow, time has past since I last wrote. I went down to Brisbane in May, to see my Pain Clinic, I was feeling very proud about going down to show them my progress. The date of the appointment was the same time the State of Origin was being held in Brisbane. There was allot of trouble about us needing the trip to be spread out over the 3days. The hospital up here expected us to go there and back in the same day, let's just have a look at what this entails, We live 2 1/2 hours from the airport, with needing to get the kids off to school or dropping them off at mums' then there's needing to be at the airport 1/2-3/4 hr before the plane is due to board, then there's the 2 1/4 hrs flight from Cairns to Brisbane (about 4 1/2 hrs so far). Then there is the 1hr public transport from the Airport to the City, then the public transport to the hospital 1/2hr, then the wait to see the specialist (who knows how long this will take) (1hour)maybe, then there's the appointment itself, maybe 1 1/2hrs,(7 1/2hrs so far), once we finish at the appointment, we have to put the hospital script in at the hospital pharmacy, 2hour wait, (you can't get the script forwarded up to Cairns, believe me we tried every way conceivable). So let's see, 9 1/2 hours, now we have to get public transport back to the city 1/2hr, then the 1hour public transport from the city to the Brisbane Airport, then the 1/2-3/4hr before boarding, then the 2 1/4hour flight, then the 2 1/2hour trip from the Cairns Airport to pick up the kids. This is 16 1/2 hours, and we haven't even looked at the fact that the plane, appointment and transport aren't at our beckoned call.
So, the plane flights were finally booked on separate days, however there wasn't anywhere to sleep, I racked up my phone bill trying to find a bed for the night. The hospital preferred accommodation, normally anywhere from $60-$90 for a night were being sold for $550-600 for the night, and trust me these are really basic rooms, who knew that a football could be worth all the trouble. Exhausted and angry, I started pleading with the Red Cross and received a call back from them as they had a cancellation.
So anyway, I was very proud going in and seeing my Specialist and some nurses that had helped me get to this point. I think they were happy to see a good thing come from a bad case. I saw Sue, my Psychologist, It took a moment for her to click as to my story and I thanked here so much. The Specialist was able to get me a script for 12months, which means I don't have to go back to them for a year.
We mustn't forget the most important person who has always been at my side through all of this and more, Justin has been there for me through some really harrowing times, when I have felt at my darkest, he has brunted and sympathised with me and told me a few ugly truths. I know that I am lucky to have him, no one would have stay for even a minute of what Justin has been through. Thank you.
On a lighter note.
I have my Jewelry at a place called "High Falls Farm" they are a Tropical Display Orchard and home to two lovely people, Lyn and Shorty, they hold tours, a restaurant and venue, I will put a link to their website, they were happy to have my jewelry on sale there and Justin was lucky enough to design their brochure and is at present designing their website. Justin has also been busy designing a Logo for Jamie's Fishing Charters and doing their advertising ready to be published in tourism magazines.
Do I sound proud of Justin, because I am damn, PROUD.
Over the past few months I have been putting the feelers out about putting together a Support Network for anyone Family, Relatives or Friends, of anyone with a challenged sibling. As you know I have Drew, with Aspergers and Brayden, who is just challenging from all angles. Through a friend of Drew's at school David, he has Autism, his mum has put me in touch with Disability Services Queensland. I was lucky enough to go to a Dinner with a few mums with children with Disabilities. Here I met Selina the Area Coordinator, I was a bit surprised that I hadn't been told about these people sooner. Anyway, I went to the dinner and had a great time (despite Justin being annoyed that he wasn't allowed to come, we have always gone everywhere together, he has been in my role for so long, it was very strange for him, and if I was told that he was going and I wasn't allowed I would have felt the same.)
So I met Selina and we have an appointment to see her soon, we spoke a bit about what they do and she told me that whilst they can help they don't think we will met the criteria for funded help. This is the same with Respite, because Drew is diagnosed a ASD, Aspergers, their is a criteria for help but, he doesn't fit the funded criteria. So you get people wanting to help, but they let you know that he just doesn't make the cut. This is a similar thing where I have Chronic Pancreatitis, Respite have made it clear that whilst they can help me they really shouldn't, and it is only through them getting funding from a few different places, and they have told me that this is the case with Drew getting help through Respite, Autism is covered but not the Aspergers strain. Aspergers is and Autism Spectrum Disorder.
With Myself suffering Chronic Pancreatitis and Drew with Aspergers, two totally separate illnesses, they amount to a big problem in the one family, nobody recognises this!
What The!!!
I have been looking for information to give to friends and family about, Aspergers. It is very hard to get people to understand, what Aspergers and Chronic Pancreatitis is. People are sick to death of me being Sick! They tell me to just get over it, Pull my finger out, get off my ass. And for Drew, they think there is nothing wrong with Drew and again, that I am over reacting and that he is just normal and that I am dramatising. With both Drew and myself their isn't a physical thing that they can see wrong. If I was in a bandage they would be only to eager to help, but eight and a half years later, I'm still here and people are still not believing.
So, the plane flights were finally booked on separate days, however there wasn't anywhere to sleep, I racked up my phone bill trying to find a bed for the night. The hospital preferred accommodation, normally anywhere from $60-$90 for a night were being sold for $550-600 for the night, and trust me these are really basic rooms, who knew that a football could be worth all the trouble. Exhausted and angry, I started pleading with the Red Cross and received a call back from them as they had a cancellation.
So anyway, I was very proud going in and seeing my Specialist and some nurses that had helped me get to this point. I think they were happy to see a good thing come from a bad case. I saw Sue, my Psychologist, It took a moment for her to click as to my story and I thanked here so much. The Specialist was able to get me a script for 12months, which means I don't have to go back to them for a year.
We mustn't forget the most important person who has always been at my side through all of this and more, Justin has been there for me through some really harrowing times, when I have felt at my darkest, he has brunted and sympathised with me and told me a few ugly truths. I know that I am lucky to have him, no one would have stay for even a minute of what Justin has been through. Thank you.
On a lighter note.
I have my Jewelry at a place called "High Falls Farm" they are a Tropical Display Orchard and home to two lovely people, Lyn and Shorty, they hold tours, a restaurant and venue, I will put a link to their website, they were happy to have my jewelry on sale there and Justin was lucky enough to design their brochure and is at present designing their website. Justin has also been busy designing a Logo for Jamie's Fishing Charters and doing their advertising ready to be published in tourism magazines.
Do I sound proud of Justin, because I am damn, PROUD.
Over the past few months I have been putting the feelers out about putting together a Support Network for anyone Family, Relatives or Friends, of anyone with a challenged sibling. As you know I have Drew, with Aspergers and Brayden, who is just challenging from all angles. Through a friend of Drew's at school David, he has Autism, his mum has put me in touch with Disability Services Queensland. I was lucky enough to go to a Dinner with a few mums with children with Disabilities. Here I met Selina the Area Coordinator, I was a bit surprised that I hadn't been told about these people sooner. Anyway, I went to the dinner and had a great time (despite Justin being annoyed that he wasn't allowed to come, we have always gone everywhere together, he has been in my role for so long, it was very strange for him, and if I was told that he was going and I wasn't allowed I would have felt the same.)
So I met Selina and we have an appointment to see her soon, we spoke a bit about what they do and she told me that whilst they can help they don't think we will met the criteria for funded help. This is the same with Respite, because Drew is diagnosed a ASD, Aspergers, their is a criteria for help but, he doesn't fit the funded criteria. So you get people wanting to help, but they let you know that he just doesn't make the cut. This is a similar thing where I have Chronic Pancreatitis, Respite have made it clear that whilst they can help me they really shouldn't, and it is only through them getting funding from a few different places, and they have told me that this is the case with Drew getting help through Respite, Autism is covered but not the Aspergers strain. Aspergers is and Autism Spectrum Disorder.
With Myself suffering Chronic Pancreatitis and Drew with Aspergers, two totally separate illnesses, they amount to a big problem in the one family, nobody recognises this!
What The!!!
I have been looking for information to give to friends and family about, Aspergers. It is very hard to get people to understand, what Aspergers and Chronic Pancreatitis is. People are sick to death of me being Sick! They tell me to just get over it, Pull my finger out, get off my ass. And for Drew, they think there is nothing wrong with Drew and again, that I am over reacting and that he is just normal and that I am dramatising. With both Drew and myself their isn't a physical thing that they can see wrong. If I was in a bandage they would be only to eager to help, but eight and a half years later, I'm still here and people are still not believing.
So, here I am looking for any information that can be put together, to help people see what Aspergers is and that it isn't just a thing that they can see happen, rather it is a whole lot of things that aren't necessarily happening uniformly. It is the whole big picture and how they translate what they are seeing and hearing. They are very smart in certain areas, his reading and maths are of a high standard, yet the teacher gets very frustrated that he can't just draw a picture to go with a story he is writing. Drew says that he doesn't understand what she means. He hasn't seen these people, so how can he draw them, yet if you were to ask him to draw a boy, he could, no problems, yet the kids in the story, he hadn't thought whether or not they are a boy or girl. We went to the show in Mossman today, as soon as we walked through the gate, he saw a Jumpy Castle, it was made to look like a shark biting a boat. Drew was so excited, we kept trying to put off when we were going to do this so, finally we went to buy the tickets and they said that Drew was too big for it, Drew has just had his 8th Birthday. Drew was shattered, it was the only thing he really wanted to do, I was shattered for him, I went up to ask why, as there were people from Drew's class on there, they just said to bad. I was shattered and Angry. So went to try and calm him down with another jumpy pillow, we paid $5each for both the boys to go and as they got on, Brayden decided that it was too big for him, so $5 down the drain as it wasn't refundable or transferable.
So... we went home.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
My Story and My Family
Hi my name is Michelle and I'm married to my husband Justin of 10years and have two beautiful boys Drew, nearly 8 and Brayden who is 5.
My health hasn't been good for 9 years now but, although it will never disappear, I am able to control it better.
Drew has Aspergers Syndrome and I hope to be able to share with others hints and information that my give insight or maybe even help others.
Brayden, my youngest has started at school this year and is in the Prep class. Prep in Queensland has taken over what we called Pre-school, up until this year pre-school was a part time thing that you do before your first year in year one. Now PREP is full time and is treated as the rest of the school. I suppose like you have Reception in SA.
Last but definitely not least, my hubby, Justin. Justin is my ROCK!. We met and fell in love at 14 and bought a house and settled into a normal happy life. He managed the Bi Lo supermarkets and we were transferred to Darwin from Adelaide. Lucky my family were up there, they were managing a caravan park. Within the first week up there we happily found out I was expecting.
Pregnancy definitely agreed with me and I shed 30 kilos while pregnant. In the last trimester I started to have Gallstone Attacks and was in and out of the Royal Darwin Hospital. The birth was extreme 28hours and the Doctors wanted to wait for me to recover from the birth before operating, again, I spent so much time in the Emergency Department. Then 7weeks after Drew was born I was admitted to hospital with Acute Pancreatitis, a stone from my Gaul Bladder was lodged into my Pancreatitis and I was in real trouble. They had to go in and find the stones, which turned out to be like small gravel. To cut a long long story short, they had to do numerous ops and only made things worse. Each time I was under I came out worse than the last.
In this time we moved back to SA and then after the birth of Brayden, moved to Whyalla in remote SA. I was put under a specialist who after more and more test diagnosed it with Chronic Pancreatitis, which I then had to accept that I had to live with IT! I was then prescribed pain killers they didn't help, they then put me on Endone, a short acting Opioid then, Oxycontin, a longer acting opioid. At this stage they had to keep increasing my dose, as my body got used to them and I had no pain relief. At this time Justin through work was moved back to Adelaide metro, to be closer to home and support.
Bi Lo weren't happy with Justin having to take time off to come and help me with Drew and Brayden. I had the support of my mate TJ, but there is only so much she could do, she had a new born herself. Then came the ultimatum, Bi Lo said Justin had to make a choice, Work or Family. Justin was fantastic, as scary as it was without having time to think, he said Family,at this moment he became my full time carer.
So here we were, lost the company house and company car and a good wage. This meant we had to move to the Daintree in Far North Queensland to be close to my parents and live in the park that they manage. Once up here the Depression and the pain got totally on top of me and the put me on MS Contin, The opioid Morphine, this was nasty, the hospital ended up refusing to admit me to Mossman Hospital.
I didn't know wear to turn. Justin was fantastic and never judged me or complained, he took over the role as Mr Mum as he became known as. He backed me and believed me through the darkest of dark moments.
I was at the end of my tether waiting for the Multidisciplinary Pain Clinic Appointment to come. 18months after moving to FNQ, Justin and I flew down to Brisbane for the long awaited appointment, I was so stressed after waiting for so long I finally had a chance to talk to someone. In this appointment, I was taken off of Morphine as such and put on Brupenorphine, a tablet which you put under your tongue, they were a like a synthetic morphine that your body didn't get used to, and you didn't have to keep increasing the dose. The withdrawal from the Morphine was shocking, I thought I was going to die. The doctor their said that I wouldn't have any symptoms, yeah right! it was terrible, sweats, shakes, nausea, to name just a few. Anyway, after the symptoms subsided, the pain relief was good the bad, it was a yo yo effect, it also depended on what I had eaten or drunk before or after the tablet as to how effective it was. The other medication they put me on at this appointment, was Gabapentin, this is an Epileptic drug that helps control seizes, but also is a good help in the use of pain control. So he prescribed this as well. They also talked about maybe changing my anti-depression medication to a tricyclic tablet, this is one of the older type of medication, as I had tried two other types for depression and found they didn't help much. They said that (Endep) as well as an antidepressant is also found to be of use with your pain receptors. Also I was put on a waiting list to attend a 2wk pain clinic, where you stay there and attend group sessions, but there waste be a 12month wait. We walked away felling that there was other options. With the Brupenorphine and Gabapentin and maybe in the future the Endep.
At the next appointment in Brisbane, we flew down wanting to maybe start the Endep as I needed something for the break through pain, this is pain that pushes you over the edge and you need to go to hospital. The specialist, prescribed a small dose of Endep, as I was taking the Zoloft, an Anti-depressant, which they hoped to keep going with both. Also, we made an action plan for if I had to go to hospital, before, if I want, they would want to give morphine through IV, with the Brupenorphine in my system Morphine would make me sick. So, he set a plan in place and they would give me Brupenorphine and Catamin.
The 2 week program mentioned at the first appointment was due to come up, which I asked about at the next Brisbane appointment. They booked me in for the end of October.
I had to come down from Cairns and stay in hospital, without my husband and Kids. It was so scary, something I imagine you would see in a movie. I arrived and we were taken up to the ward, where we were signed in and our medications were taken from us, we were seen by a barrage of doctors all asking the same question and having to go over the past that you would much rather put behind you. The doctors were from all different areas, from Mental Health, Psychiatrist and Psychologists, finding where you are at, to the Physiotherapist, Thai Chi, Water Aerobics Occupational Therapist and Nurses. They all did seminars, group and one on one sessions. By the end of the first day we were all emotional. That night the medications were all completely mucked up and we were treated like drug addicts, the lady next to me and myself, and the two blokes opposite us, we were left very upset and told that we should only talk to the doctors in the morning about our medication and that we had our chance and we would have to wait until the morning. The muck ups were pretty important. The next morning we were woken to find about seven doctors at the end of our beds, wanting to talk to us. This is the strangest feeling, you have about 4minutes to get out what you had to say and that was that, even then the doctors forget what you had said by the time they make their notes.
Okay so the start to the 2 weeks wasn't good and I lived with reflux for a week before getting my medications and when I did get them they gave the wrong mg dose, so again the problem stayed. I missed my family really bad, and talked heaps. Through the weeks programs the doctors changed my Brupenorphine Sublinugal (under tongue) to a weekly patch, called Norspan 20mg. The pain relief was so much more at a constant level, the problem with these is that they wouldn't stay on. They tried everything tapes, dressings bandages, this made me pretty anxious, the fact that I was only allocated one patch a week.
What a turning point that was...
I found myself dreading the patch change over day, I would stress at Justin to put it on properly or even where we would put it. Each week it would burn my skin where it was positioned, we were supposed to only apply it to the upper torso, I am by no means small and the patch would not stick to an area where the skin could stretch or flex. In the end I asked the doctor to prescribe a lesser dose as the patch would be smaller and I could place it on my arms. So this is where I was given a 10mg (half the size of the 20mg) and a 5mg (quarter the size of the 20mg). These were good as I put them on my wrists and wore a headband wrapped twice around my wrist.
I managed the 15mg really well and found myself thinking that, if I could do the 15mg what about the 10mg only. I found myself asking for the script for the 15mg and thinking that if I only had the 10mg patch to worry about, how would I go. By the end of the script I found that I was managing on the 10mg. So on the next visit to the doctor I told him that I only wanted the 10mg, he was proud, and so was I.
I found myself for the first time since I was a volunteer Ambulance Attendant, that I was proud of myself. I have never had a positive opinion of myself, so this was a real crazy notion.
I was more than ever spurred on to kick this medication, within the month script and a happy husband I reduced to the 5mg patch. So after going through a bit of a withdrawal I was down to the last step 5mg then nothing. Yeah Yahoo!!etc. My doctor said I shouldn't rush this but he wasn't about to stand in my way. Over the years of seeing my doctor he had said some crazy things, which I thought at the time as far out and stupid comments like, " you can beat the pain" or "you have the power to not let the pain control you" " it is your choice as to whether you have a good day or a bad", it is these and many more that I now look back on as not so far out and many have come true.
It is now Saturday before Mother's Day, and I feel, for the first time that I deserve to have this day, I never thought that I would be here writing my story openly and honestly, I am proud. My family mean the world to me. I control the pain, the pain will never control me again . On Monday of this week I was supposed to change my 5mg patch, I quiet knowingly left it on and took it off because it was falling off.
For the first time since June 2002 I HAVE NO OPIOID OR MORPHINE, as far as I am concerned I will never ever have any of those again.
Yes, I still battle the pain, it will never be gone, but I have learned to live with it. I still have lots of bad days, but I deal with them as they come. As well as the pain I suffer depression and I have a child, with Aspergers. None of my days are easy, but they are allot easier now I don't have opioid drugs, clouding my judgement.
My husband Justin as I was saying above, is still my carer, but, he has been starting up his own business, called "Mossman Computing @ Your Service. He works from home and on days where I'm not the best he stays home on others I might go with him, or I stay home. He has always been there for me and I will always be there for him. We have set up an office at home where we both work, I work on my jewellery and he on his computers. It is so great for us to have this time together and we help each other.
I don't look back on what we have been through and wish it was different. Everything happens for a reason and it has bought us as a family so much closer and Justin couldn't have still been working for Bi Lo, the Management and Hours were killing him. He is up here in a beautiful place and we have a business that is fantastic and suits our family situation. Justin is doing what he always wanted to do since he was in Primary School, a Computer Technician.
I am proud of my whole family for their support and helping us through the toughest of tough times,
Thanks for reading my life and I hope to write again soon
My health hasn't been good for 9 years now but, although it will never disappear, I am able to control it better.
Drew has Aspergers Syndrome and I hope to be able to share with others hints and information that my give insight or maybe even help others.
Brayden, my youngest has started at school this year and is in the Prep class. Prep in Queensland has taken over what we called Pre-school, up until this year pre-school was a part time thing that you do before your first year in year one. Now PREP is full time and is treated as the rest of the school. I suppose like you have Reception in SA.
Last but definitely not least, my hubby, Justin. Justin is my ROCK!. We met and fell in love at 14 and bought a house and settled into a normal happy life. He managed the Bi Lo supermarkets and we were transferred to Darwin from Adelaide. Lucky my family were up there, they were managing a caravan park. Within the first week up there we happily found out I was expecting.
Pregnancy definitely agreed with me and I shed 30 kilos while pregnant. In the last trimester I started to have Gallstone Attacks and was in and out of the Royal Darwin Hospital. The birth was extreme 28hours and the Doctors wanted to wait for me to recover from the birth before operating, again, I spent so much time in the Emergency Department. Then 7weeks after Drew was born I was admitted to hospital with Acute Pancreatitis, a stone from my Gaul Bladder was lodged into my Pancreatitis and I was in real trouble. They had to go in and find the stones, which turned out to be like small gravel. To cut a long long story short, they had to do numerous ops and only made things worse. Each time I was under I came out worse than the last.
In this time we moved back to SA and then after the birth of Brayden, moved to Whyalla in remote SA. I was put under a specialist who after more and more test diagnosed it with Chronic Pancreatitis, which I then had to accept that I had to live with IT! I was then prescribed pain killers they didn't help, they then put me on Endone, a short acting Opioid then, Oxycontin, a longer acting opioid. At this stage they had to keep increasing my dose, as my body got used to them and I had no pain relief. At this time Justin through work was moved back to Adelaide metro, to be closer to home and support.
Bi Lo weren't happy with Justin having to take time off to come and help me with Drew and Brayden. I had the support of my mate TJ, but there is only so much she could do, she had a new born herself. Then came the ultimatum, Bi Lo said Justin had to make a choice, Work or Family. Justin was fantastic, as scary as it was without having time to think, he said Family,at this moment he became my full time carer.
So here we were, lost the company house and company car and a good wage. This meant we had to move to the Daintree in Far North Queensland to be close to my parents and live in the park that they manage. Once up here the Depression and the pain got totally on top of me and the put me on MS Contin, The opioid Morphine, this was nasty, the hospital ended up refusing to admit me to Mossman Hospital.
I didn't know wear to turn. Justin was fantastic and never judged me or complained, he took over the role as Mr Mum as he became known as. He backed me and believed me through the darkest of dark moments.
I was at the end of my tether waiting for the Multidisciplinary Pain Clinic Appointment to come. 18months after moving to FNQ, Justin and I flew down to Brisbane for the long awaited appointment, I was so stressed after waiting for so long I finally had a chance to talk to someone. In this appointment, I was taken off of Morphine as such and put on Brupenorphine, a tablet which you put under your tongue, they were a like a synthetic morphine that your body didn't get used to, and you didn't have to keep increasing the dose. The withdrawal from the Morphine was shocking, I thought I was going to die. The doctor their said that I wouldn't have any symptoms, yeah right! it was terrible, sweats, shakes, nausea, to name just a few. Anyway, after the symptoms subsided, the pain relief was good the bad, it was a yo yo effect, it also depended on what I had eaten or drunk before or after the tablet as to how effective it was. The other medication they put me on at this appointment, was Gabapentin, this is an Epileptic drug that helps control seizes, but also is a good help in the use of pain control. So he prescribed this as well. They also talked about maybe changing my anti-depression medication to a tricyclic tablet, this is one of the older type of medication, as I had tried two other types for depression and found they didn't help much. They said that (Endep) as well as an antidepressant is also found to be of use with your pain receptors. Also I was put on a waiting list to attend a 2wk pain clinic, where you stay there and attend group sessions, but there waste be a 12month wait. We walked away felling that there was other options. With the Brupenorphine and Gabapentin and maybe in the future the Endep.
At the next appointment in Brisbane, we flew down wanting to maybe start the Endep as I needed something for the break through pain, this is pain that pushes you over the edge and you need to go to hospital. The specialist, prescribed a small dose of Endep, as I was taking the Zoloft, an Anti-depressant, which they hoped to keep going with both. Also, we made an action plan for if I had to go to hospital, before, if I want, they would want to give morphine through IV, with the Brupenorphine in my system Morphine would make me sick. So, he set a plan in place and they would give me Brupenorphine and Catamin.
The 2 week program mentioned at the first appointment was due to come up, which I asked about at the next Brisbane appointment. They booked me in for the end of October.
I had to come down from Cairns and stay in hospital, without my husband and Kids. It was so scary, something I imagine you would see in a movie. I arrived and we were taken up to the ward, where we were signed in and our medications were taken from us, we were seen by a barrage of doctors all asking the same question and having to go over the past that you would much rather put behind you. The doctors were from all different areas, from Mental Health, Psychiatrist and Psychologists, finding where you are at, to the Physiotherapist, Thai Chi, Water Aerobics Occupational Therapist and Nurses. They all did seminars, group and one on one sessions. By the end of the first day we were all emotional. That night the medications were all completely mucked up and we were treated like drug addicts, the lady next to me and myself, and the two blokes opposite us, we were left very upset and told that we should only talk to the doctors in the morning about our medication and that we had our chance and we would have to wait until the morning. The muck ups were pretty important. The next morning we were woken to find about seven doctors at the end of our beds, wanting to talk to us. This is the strangest feeling, you have about 4minutes to get out what you had to say and that was that, even then the doctors forget what you had said by the time they make their notes.
Okay so the start to the 2 weeks wasn't good and I lived with reflux for a week before getting my medications and when I did get them they gave the wrong mg dose, so again the problem stayed. I missed my family really bad, and talked heaps. Through the weeks programs the doctors changed my Brupenorphine Sublinugal (under tongue) to a weekly patch, called Norspan 20mg. The pain relief was so much more at a constant level, the problem with these is that they wouldn't stay on. They tried everything tapes, dressings bandages, this made me pretty anxious, the fact that I was only allocated one patch a week.
What a turning point that was...
I found myself dreading the patch change over day, I would stress at Justin to put it on properly or even where we would put it. Each week it would burn my skin where it was positioned, we were supposed to only apply it to the upper torso, I am by no means small and the patch would not stick to an area where the skin could stretch or flex. In the end I asked the doctor to prescribe a lesser dose as the patch would be smaller and I could place it on my arms. So this is where I was given a 10mg (half the size of the 20mg) and a 5mg (quarter the size of the 20mg). These were good as I put them on my wrists and wore a headband wrapped twice around my wrist.
I managed the 15mg really well and found myself thinking that, if I could do the 15mg what about the 10mg only. I found myself asking for the script for the 15mg and thinking that if I only had the 10mg patch to worry about, how would I go. By the end of the script I found that I was managing on the 10mg. So on the next visit to the doctor I told him that I only wanted the 10mg, he was proud, and so was I.
I found myself for the first time since I was a volunteer Ambulance Attendant, that I was proud of myself. I have never had a positive opinion of myself, so this was a real crazy notion.
I was more than ever spurred on to kick this medication, within the month script and a happy husband I reduced to the 5mg patch. So after going through a bit of a withdrawal I was down to the last step 5mg then nothing. Yeah Yahoo!!etc. My doctor said I shouldn't rush this but he wasn't about to stand in my way. Over the years of seeing my doctor he had said some crazy things, which I thought at the time as far out and stupid comments like, " you can beat the pain" or "you have the power to not let the pain control you" " it is your choice as to whether you have a good day or a bad", it is these and many more that I now look back on as not so far out and many have come true.
It is now Saturday before Mother's Day, and I feel, for the first time that I deserve to have this day, I never thought that I would be here writing my story openly and honestly, I am proud. My family mean the world to me. I control the pain, the pain will never control me again . On Monday of this week I was supposed to change my 5mg patch, I quiet knowingly left it on and took it off because it was falling off.
For the first time since June 2002 I HAVE NO OPIOID OR MORPHINE, as far as I am concerned I will never ever have any of those again.
Yes, I still battle the pain, it will never be gone, but I have learned to live with it. I still have lots of bad days, but I deal with them as they come. As well as the pain I suffer depression and I have a child, with Aspergers. None of my days are easy, but they are allot easier now I don't have opioid drugs, clouding my judgement.
My husband Justin as I was saying above, is still my carer, but, he has been starting up his own business, called "Mossman Computing @ Your Service. He works from home and on days where I'm not the best he stays home on others I might go with him, or I stay home. He has always been there for me and I will always be there for him. We have set up an office at home where we both work, I work on my jewellery and he on his computers. It is so great for us to have this time together and we help each other.
I don't look back on what we have been through and wish it was different. Everything happens for a reason and it has bought us as a family so much closer and Justin couldn't have still been working for Bi Lo, the Management and Hours were killing him. He is up here in a beautiful place and we have a business that is fantastic and suits our family situation. Justin is doing what he always wanted to do since he was in Primary School, a Computer Technician.
I am proud of my whole family for their support and helping us through the toughest of tough times,
Thanks for reading my life and I hope to write again soon
Michelle
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